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From Timothy Writing for parents who are ready to see things differently
These pieces are for the parent who already knows something needs to shift — and is looking for a clearer way to understand what's actually happening in their family, and what's possible from here.

Connecting with a Child in Crisis: A Guide to Genuine Understanding

9/19/2023

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Connecting with child in crisis
Introduction
Every parent's heart aches when they see their child in crisis. The overwhelming desire to help, combined with the frustration of not knowing how, can be paralyzing. But here's the hopeful truth: the most crucial skill you need is the ability to connect. And while it might seem elusive, it's entirely achievable.

Why Connection Matters
When a child is in crisis, they often feel isolated, misunderstood, and trapped in their own emotions. They're not just looking for solutions; they're looking for someone who genuinely understands. That's where connection comes in. It's the bridge that allows you to reach out and say, "I'm here, I understand, and we'll get through this together."

Speaking Their Language
One of the most significant barriers to connection is communication. But here's the thing: it's not about finding the right words; it's about speaking in a way they can hear.

1. Listen Actively: Before you speak, listen. And I mean really listen. Not just to their words, but to the emotions behind them. This was a lesson I learned early on in my coaching journey. By actively listening, you're showing your child that their feelings are valid and that they're not alone.

2. Avoid Judgement: It's easy to jump to conclusions or to offer solutions immediately. But sometimes, what your child needs is not a solution but understanding. Approach conversations with an open heart and mind.

3. Use Open-Ended Questions: Instead of asking questions that can be answered with a simple 'yes' or 'no', try open-ended ones. Questions like "How did that make you feel?" or "What do you think would help?" can open up a dialogue and provide deeper insights.

Building Trust
Trust is the foundation of any strong relationship. But how do you build it, especially when your child is in crisis?

1. Be Consistent: Consistency in your actions and words is key. It's a lesson I've reiterated in my coaching sessions at Family Coaching Services. When you say you'll do something, follow through. This consistency builds a sense of reliability.

2. Share Your Experiences: Let them know that they're not alone in their struggles. Share stories of when you faced challenges and how you overcame them. But also be honest about times you failed and what you learned from those experiences.

3. Create a Safe Space: Ensure that your child knows that they can come to you with anything, without fear of punishment or judgement. This safety can be a game-changer in building trust.

The Power of Hope
Hope is a powerful motivator. It's the light at the end of the tunnel, the belief that things can and will get better. Instill this hope in your child. Remind them of their strengths, their past achievements, and the love and support that surrounds them.

Why Trust This Advice?
I've been in the trenches, both professionally and personally. At Family Coaching Services, I've worked with numerous families, helping them navigate the complexities of connection. The strategies I've shared here are not just theoretical; they're tried and tested. They've worked for many families, and they can work for yours too.

In Conclusion
Connecting with a child in crisis might be challenging, but it's not impossible. With understanding, patience, and genuine effort, you can bridge the gap and be the support your child needs. Remember, it's not about having all the answers; it's about being there, consistently and compassionately.

Call to Action: If you're struggling to connect with your child and need guidance, I'm here to help. At Family Coaching Services, we believe in the power of connection. Reach out today, and let's embark on this journey together.
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    Author

    Timothy Rush Harrington is the founder of Family WellthCare™ and a family leadership advisor with more than 20 years of experience in behavioral health and family systems work. He writes about the patterns that shape families, the nervous system responses that run beneath the surface, and the kind of steady, honest leadership that changes everything — not just for one generation, but for those that follow. He does not stand at a distance from this work. He stands inside it.

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